Was it my fault?

Did I scare him away by sending him this email before we had our 1 month trial separation? I'm curious.
What I sent him on Feb. 14. Yep. Our official separation date was on Valentines day. A very sad day.

I'm going to lay it all out there. Because who cares at this point if I get hurt. I already hurt. Saying goodbye to you, even if it is only a month is very hard for me. You've been my friend forever & I'm only willing to do this because we have been friends forever & I care about you.

I get that we need to walk away from each other for awhile. No matter how much I want you to be mine the facts are, you are NOT mine. I wish with all my heart you were MINE. Life would be very fun and interesting.
But we each have our own families to worry about. I guess we need to give them a chance. Maybe things will be ok with them And we will just be unforgettable memories to one another.
But, If you find that things don't improve and you are back to this point after enough time has gone by -and you find that nothing at all has changed- I want you back. I'd hope you would come back to me and our friendship.
If your wife can not find happiness with you, then that is her fault not yours. And she does not know what she has right in front of her. Her loss.
With you I found an awesome man and an awesome friend, who is smart, kind, supportive and handsome. Who always listens to what I have to say. No matter how crazy it is sometimes!

Thank you for all your support and all the listening you have done over the years. I will miss that the most. You have provided me with a solid place to vent my frustrations, hopes and fears without grudges or mean words. I appreciate that more than you know. I don't know what I will do now without you, even if it is temporary.

This is hard to write, because I know I am saying goodbye to special friend. I am going to be a bit lost without you. I wish I had the ability at the time to see what was and what could have been all those years ago. I was too young to know and too naive with parents that were too controlling. I am sorry. I would have been happy with you.

But thank you for the time we had together, getting to know you all over again. You will always hold a special place in my heart. You will always be my Jamie.

I love you.